Causes and Effects of Low Self-Esteem
By Jo Ann Wentzel
Having low self-esteem is a terrible thing because it can affect every part of your life. Low self-esteem is another way of saying you put little or no value on yourself. Most people who do not have a high self-esteem have been made that way by others. Those people who are responsible for a person not valuing themselves have a lot to answer for.
What causes a person to have low self-esteem? Usually it is because of things they were told constantly while growing up. Often, these folks were told they were no good or even worthless. If you hear that often enough you will start to believe it. Constantly informing a person they have no value may make you feel superior but, it can destroy a person’s belief in themselves and their self-confidence. A person with low self- esteem may have become that way due to a constant source of criticism. After you are constantly criticized, you start to believe you are incapable of doing anything right.
Sometimes, while growing up, a person can believe they have never accomplished anything worthwhile or succeeded at anything. If nothing is ever quite good enough; you feel you are not worthy because you never have done anything of importance.
If you are a person who suffered from abuse, misuse, or neglect; you will undoubtedly experience low self-esteem. When someone takes you for granted so much that they do not feel you deserve good treatment they are saying you have no value. When children grow up without their basic needs met, they also feel unworthy. They feel so unimportant to their parents that they must not deserve proper care or the basic necessities. They surely question for some time at least, why other children are better cared for but, at some point they start to accept that they are just not as good as other kids.
The results of growing up in any or all of these ways are evident when you meet a person with low self-esteem. They suffer from many symptoms and conditions brought about by their belief in their lack of self-worth. Among these symptoms are many fears, a lack of confidence in their abilities, and not working to their full potential. There also are physical symptoms of this condition. Many people with low self - esteem will not look others in the eye. They withdraw into themselves and are frightened to even talk to others and when they do talk it is in a soft, barely heard voice. They avoid social situations since they believe they are not able to correctly interact.
Being afraid of new things is common to a degree but, when taken to extremes it can keep you from doing anything. It will keep you from trying for that new job, forming lasting relationships, and even doing things to improve yourself or your health. You are filled with doubts as to being able to achieve anything good.
When you have no confidence in your abilities you might be frightened to raise a child. You might think you can never learn how to properly care for them and that is important since most folks with low self-esteem, know they have shortcomings. You may not go after a better job or a promotion because you are sure you could not succeed at that position. Having no confidence in your abilities might mean you will always feel so inferior to others you are sure they will not like you because you believe you know nothing, can do nothing, and no one could possibly like you.
When you believe that everything you do is wrong, that you could never succeed, and that you are worthless you are sure everyone else already knows that about you. You believe that is how you are seen and perceived. So then there seems little reason to work to your full potential. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy since no effort put forth results in no accomplishment worth noting. The cycle continues.
You need to do things in small steps and congratulate yourself for every one achieved. You need to believe in yourself and the only way is to finally have some success. Success begets success. You need to surround yourself with other people who are doing great and will help you out. They will bring you along for the ride if you follow their advice or lead. Only have people around you that encourage and uplift you. Get far from those who continue to pull you down or never seem to think what you are doing is good. Negativity can destroy people.
You can do this! You can increase your self-esteem. You can grow it. You can take care of you and learn to have more confidence in what you do. There are experts out there on everything, find one and gently attach onto them if you are unsure. You will learn whatever you need to survive and succeed. But work to increase believing in yourself daily, till you can spread your wings and fly alone.